He is risen so that we might live!!!

As most of you know, my sweet William was born on Easter last year. It was the first Easter that I did not attend church (my water broke at 7 am), the first that I did not adorn a new dress, and the first that I did not have a huge feast with family. Those frivolous things didn't matter to me though. My whole world revolved around William and what he meant.

To get the whole picture of my special Easter, I have to back up and give you some background information about my life. Every Sunday for as long as I have walked this Earth, I have gone to church. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. For years I was a Sunday morning/holiday/blessing at meals "Christian" (I don't even feel right about allowing the word to stand alone at this point in my relationship with Christ).

Most parents will admit that their lives changed upon having children. My opinion is no different. However, I feel that my life changed COMPLETELY from the moment I found out that I was going to be having my sweet baby. You see, and this is very hard for me to divulge, Sean and I were not planning on having a baby for a couple of years. Our plan (and I know that this is hilarious to God) was to get married in May of 2008, buy a home, and then have children sometime after that. Children were not an option. Children were a must, but we had our "priorities" that needed to come first. That's why August 1, 2007 hit me like a ton of bricks. That was the day I found out that I was pregnant with William. It was a complete shock and happened in a way that I never imagined. I had pictured Sean pacing outside the bathroom door, eager to find out if there was a plus or minus sign. Instead, Sean was hundreds of miles away at his grandmother's funeral in CANADA! Of course he came home ASAP and was a million percent supportive, but I was still having a hard time letting myself deem the pregnancy as "ok".

I wanted nothing more than to be a mother, but not like this! What a nightmare, right??


Wrong.


Little did I know, but God had a wonderful plan for our growing family. On October 6th, Sean and I had a beautiful wedding at our church...just the way we wanted it to be and no corners were cut. My parents were so supportive and my dad made sure that I had the wedding that I always wanted. We had a small, one bedroom apartment lined up and were showered with tons of gifts to fill it with. It wasn't the cute little cape cod that I was dreaming of, but it suited us just fine for 11 months.

When the time came for baby showers, I was blessed with 4! We received everything we needed for Sweet William's arrival and some! As my due date grew closer I was slowly becoming more comfortable with talking about my pregnancy, but still viewed it as a sore subject. Don't get me wrong, I was never ashamed of William...not for a minute. I was, however, ashamed of my sin. Since I was known by all as a "Christian", I felt tarnished and dull because I was not the beacon that I was intended to be...not yet anyway.

When Easter weekend approached, I got on my knees and prayed for William to come. I was so tired of being pregnant and miserable (even though I wasn't due for nearly two more weeks), and we had lots of family and friends in for the holiday. I just kept thinking, "Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if all our loved ones were here when William arrived?!"

God heard my plea.

Easter morning I awoke feeling a bit crampy and didn't quite know what to think of it. I was in charge of going to my mom and dad's house to pop in the turkey before church ,so I called to tell them I didn't think I could do it. While on the phone with my mom, my water broke. 11 hours later my Wipee was born.

I don't think the magnitude of that day set in for awhile. Of course I knew that March 23, 2008 would forever be etched in my mind because it was the day of William's birth, but I did not know how profound of an impact it would have until months later. Looking back, I don't know how I missed one of the greatest gifts that God has given me. I thought my son was the greatest gift, but God gave me a cherry on top. He gave me forgiveness. Of course I had been forgiven upon repentance, but God wanted to show me on that particular day that I was forgiven.

God could have had William come at any time, any day, any year, but God chose for William to come on the celebration of His son's life! How awesome is that? There will never be an Easter quite like the one I had last year. Having an outward sign of God's love and forgiveness is something that forever changed me, and I am ever so grateful for it.

Thank you for allowing me to share something so personal with you. I hope that you and yours have a beautiful Easter for He is risen so that we might live!

Love,
Erin