He is risen so that we might live!!!

As most of you know, my sweet William was born on Easter last year. It was the first Easter that I did not attend church (my water broke at 7 am), the first that I did not adorn a new dress, and the first that I did not have a huge feast with family. Those frivolous things didn't matter to me though. My whole world revolved around William and what he meant.

To get the whole picture of my special Easter, I have to back up and give you some background information about my life. Every Sunday for as long as I have walked this Earth, I have gone to church. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. For years I was a Sunday morning/holiday/blessing at meals "Christian" (I don't even feel right about allowing the word to stand alone at this point in my relationship with Christ).

Most parents will admit that their lives changed upon having children. My opinion is no different. However, I feel that my life changed COMPLETELY from the moment I found out that I was going to be having my sweet baby. You see, and this is very hard for me to divulge, Sean and I were not planning on having a baby for a couple of years. Our plan (and I know that this is hilarious to God) was to get married in May of 2008, buy a home, and then have children sometime after that. Children were not an option. Children were a must, but we had our "priorities" that needed to come first. That's why August 1, 2007 hit me like a ton of bricks. That was the day I found out that I was pregnant with William. It was a complete shock and happened in a way that I never imagined. I had pictured Sean pacing outside the bathroom door, eager to find out if there was a plus or minus sign. Instead, Sean was hundreds of miles away at his grandmother's funeral in CANADA! Of course he came home ASAP and was a million percent supportive, but I was still having a hard time letting myself deem the pregnancy as "ok".

I wanted nothing more than to be a mother, but not like this! What a nightmare, right??


Wrong.


Little did I know, but God had a wonderful plan for our growing family. On October 6th, Sean and I had a beautiful wedding at our church...just the way we wanted it to be and no corners were cut. My parents were so supportive and my dad made sure that I had the wedding that I always wanted. We had a small, one bedroom apartment lined up and were showered with tons of gifts to fill it with. It wasn't the cute little cape cod that I was dreaming of, but it suited us just fine for 11 months.

When the time came for baby showers, I was blessed with 4! We received everything we needed for Sweet William's arrival and some! As my due date grew closer I was slowly becoming more comfortable with talking about my pregnancy, but still viewed it as a sore subject. Don't get me wrong, I was never ashamed of William...not for a minute. I was, however, ashamed of my sin. Since I was known by all as a "Christian", I felt tarnished and dull because I was not the beacon that I was intended to be...not yet anyway.

When Easter weekend approached, I got on my knees and prayed for William to come. I was so tired of being pregnant and miserable (even though I wasn't due for nearly two more weeks), and we had lots of family and friends in for the holiday. I just kept thinking, "Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if all our loved ones were here when William arrived?!"

God heard my plea.

Easter morning I awoke feeling a bit crampy and didn't quite know what to think of it. I was in charge of going to my mom and dad's house to pop in the turkey before church ,so I called to tell them I didn't think I could do it. While on the phone with my mom, my water broke. 11 hours later my Wipee was born.

I don't think the magnitude of that day set in for awhile. Of course I knew that March 23, 2008 would forever be etched in my mind because it was the day of William's birth, but I did not know how profound of an impact it would have until months later. Looking back, I don't know how I missed one of the greatest gifts that God has given me. I thought my son was the greatest gift, but God gave me a cherry on top. He gave me forgiveness. Of course I had been forgiven upon repentance, but God wanted to show me on that particular day that I was forgiven.

God could have had William come at any time, any day, any year, but God chose for William to come on the celebration of His son's life! How awesome is that? There will never be an Easter quite like the one I had last year. Having an outward sign of God's love and forgiveness is something that forever changed me, and I am ever so grateful for it.

Thank you for allowing me to share something so personal with you. I hope that you and yours have a beautiful Easter for He is risen so that we might live!

Love,
Erin

The Biggest Loser

Sean won the weigh-in at his work! Yay! During the six week Biggest Loser competition he lost 16 pounds (aside from the 24 he lost before it started) and won us two marvelous prizes! Not only did we receive a WONDERFUL and MUCH needed date night at the Towne Point Club, but also a new flat-screen TV for our bedroom. It is beautiful! William loves to walk by and gawk at the kid shows that we've been playing on it. I am so proud of my sweetie...if only us gals could loose the same amount of weight in that time (3 months). Maybe when I stop nursing...

Congratulations, Honey!!!!

Home Sweet Home

Well, we just got home a little while ago from our weekend trip to North Carolina, and boy there is nothing like being back in your own filth! We had a great trip, but I do love my home. I know you can relate. Anyway, Sean has a family friend who lives in Wallace that I have never met, nor has William...what better reason for a visit? Despite being the city girl I am, there is a bit of country in me deep down (I think). I could totally live in the small city of Wallace, NC and live happily ever after. William so enjoyed having a huge yard to play in and all of the beautiful trees that were in bloom. That is one of the things about apartment living that pains me...all the concrete. Anyway, we had a lovely weekend filled with friends, family, shopping, and lots of peace and quiet. I was even able to read some of The Shack (yay!). I wanted to share some of my early Birthday presents with you (did I mention they had the cutest shops down there??):

ARTWORK OF HOPE...all of her paintings are scripture based!

"This is the day that the Lord has made...Let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Loooove the monogram window decals from the FANCY FARMER

...I have their # if you want it- they ship!

Oh, I just love my finds! Anyhoo...I am off to rinse my mud mask off and have a nice glass of White Zin. When Sean gets back from his run we're watching the Celeb. Apprentice together. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Please keep praying for news about this summer- I have yet to hear anything. I am worrying less, but still worrying nonetheless. Argh.

Goodnight All,

Erin


P.S. Sean's weigh-in at work is tomorrow...we just may have a new flat screen in our den tomorrow night!!!

April Showers...

The past couple of days I've been a bit "off" and I can't quite explain why. Maybe it's because I still don't know what the summer holds for me, or maybe it's that all our medical bills are stacking up and our Health Savings Account only has so much in it, or perhaps it's the weather. I am a weather girl. If it's sunny, I'm sunny. If it's cloudy, then you've got it, I'm an Eeyore. I think that my least favorite is when the weather is in between... you know, the "it's not quite sunny, but it won't just go ahead and rain so that it can be over with" type of weather. The past couple of days have matched that profile. Mood wise and weather wise. I have been so in need of a gorgeous 75 degree day where I can wear my summer skirts and flip-flops. I tried forcing it, and adorned a jean-jacket to tone down my summer ambitions, but my heart knew it was not genuine. Oh well, maybe the weekend will bring some sunny skies for me to enjoy.
On another note, I've been changing up my routine lately by taking a shower at night and washing my hair in the morning. Morning showers are always rushed and interrupted. Night showers, however, are peaceful. While in the shower, I am able to just pour my heart out to the Lord in complete silence and privacy- two things that are quite scarce. While doing so, I like to envision all my worries and anxiety washing down the drain. I need this ritual to keep me on track. I crave to have quiet time with my Father and enjoy every moment of our conversations. As you know, I've been praying for God to help me with my worrying. I want nothing more than to be able to give every concern, every heartache, and every worry to the Lord...completely. I truly believe that that when I shower before bed, I am showering myself with God's never ending love. Our quiet time is the best part of my day (that and all the wonderful time I spend with my boys). I am so thankful for it. If you're looking for a fantastic way to end your time, try letting God shower you with peace!


Goodnight all, I've got a pretty big list for our Father....
Love,
Erin

Pray for Jonah...

I recently found a blog that truly speaks to my heart. The William's Family Blog is such an inspiration to me that I had to share their story with you. I've posted a tab to the left that will take you to their site. Please join me in surrounding their family with love and prayers. God is good and nothing is impossible with Him!

Goodnight all,
Erin

That easy bake oven came in handy!

I just wanted to share with you my new hobby of cake decorating. I have always hated baking, but the desire was there to like it. My solution? I make the cake a week before the event, freeze it, then decorate it when I have time to enjoy it and William's sleeping. I also bought lots of goodies to help me with my new endeavor. I have a whole kit with lots of piping bags, tips, and dyes. I also stocked up on cake boards and spatulas. Having the cool stuff makes everything better! Hope you enjoy!

Sean's 24th Birthday Cake

William's First Birthday Cake

Elmopalooza!

My dear friend Hillary's Birthday cake

Our family's update...

Over the past couple of weeks we've been quite busy. I was caught up in getting William's First Birthday Extravaganza together, Sean has been steadily loosing weight for the upcoming weigh-in at his work, and William has been getting into EVERYTHING. I swear he's grown a whole inch since my last post. He can now reach the table tops as well as everything that I have stored up there. This new found fascination with destroying everything in sight would usually drive me crazy, but I am simply awe struck by how much he's grown. Give me a week and I'll probably be completely over this phase, but for now I am just completely amazed by him. He had his one year check-up today and I knew it would be hard (immunization time), but hard is a complete understatement of what we endured. Because we live in a high-risk zip code, William had to have a blood test done to check for high lead levels. They had me hold him on my lap while they put the tourniquet on his little arm and I could feel my stomach begin to churn. When that butterfly needle went in, and his little face melted, so did my heart. Oh, it physically hurt me to see him in pain. On top of that, they couldn't get any blood out because his vein kept rolling, so the poor nurse just kept having to wiggle and jab the needle around. As soon as she removed the tourniquet he stopped crying and cuddled against me. When the nurse went to put it on the other arm he fought it with all his might. The second jab was just as unproductive as the first. We then moved on to a finger prick. I thought this would be an easy alternative. Oh boy was I wrong! Apparently they had to get as much blood out of his tiny little finger as they would his arm. He had the blood "milked" out of his finger for about 10 minutes all while screaming and writhing his body around in my arms. After the agony of drawing blood we moved onto his immunizations. By the time my child left the doctor's office, he was wearing 4 Band-Aids and had a mother that was just as much a wreck as he was. Thank goodness for Ibuprofen and Tylenol! The good news is that my sweet baby can now have whole milk and can officially be in a forward facing car seat! Yay, William!

On another note, I wanted to update you all on our summer situation. I still haven't heard back from Color Me Mine, but I am still hopeful. Sean is set to take another certification test for work at the end of April. Provided he passes, he will receive a raise. This will greatly help us this summer and will prove to be even more beneficial in the fall with my normal income. Sean has been studying hard, daily, for a year now. I am confident that he will do well, but I ask for you to keep him in your prayers over the next month. I also ask for your continued prayers for this summer. Particularly for my ever growing problem with worry. As the end of the school year draws near, I feel the storm clouds blowing in. I pray for them to just blow over and for sunny skies to light my day. Thank you, friends, for always keeping us close to your heart and in your thoughts. I know that we will be ok and that our family will survive because God is so good. He ALWAYS provides for us even though we are unworthy. That is what gets me through the day without falling apart into a million pieces...knowing that my God loves me even more than I love my son, and that's an amount that I can't even fathom.